Saturday, 29 March 2014

Employees demand: engage us

Cost-effective lasagna for the man in the happy hour

Sanjay, Ng, Jie and Ido (I do not know who is male or female) sent a petition via text to Comrade Carl Marks, R&D manager, complaining that they feel like "sub-contractors"; now that their new product is about to be released, they want to feel more engaged.

So Comrade Carl and Stan organized a happy hour without involving HR, which is fine with me, in a sense. Do not ask in what sense.

CEO Stan recommended that  even the ladies of HR and Hugh White, the white heterosexual who runs Diversity take part in the Happy Hour. (Danish was declared the lingua franca of the happy hour, but no one except Maya and Lars speak Danish.)

As for the content of the Happy Hour, Comrade Carl, always the nihilist, said, "to each according to his needs". So at 1600 on Friday, we all did our thing, as it were.

CEO Stan remained in his office and ate an extra portion of cost effective lasagna, prepared by his private chef, K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein, who has mixed ethnicity. K Ray thought about how sick and tired he is of preparing lasagna.

Comrade Carl Marks and his group of foreign nerds in Engineering sat in Carl's room. Carl drank vodka and cursed HR, the Israelis argued with one another, the Turks tried to read Hurriyet but their government had blocked that site as well. The Indians talked in 54 languages and the one English speaking engineer spoke to himself.

Ms Cynthia Axe went to a physiotherapist because her wrists hurt; Hugh White (Diversity) stayed in his office finishing an article he is writing on "Lack of Sex Drive in the Overcommitted Workplace".

To everyone's surprise. I ran on the treadmill. I run 3 miles a day. And I do NOT text when running. (I think about creative ways to augment my power and HR Business Partnership via use of slogans.)

From my treadmill, I could see Comrade Carl Marks, the lecher, gawking at my legs from the room opposite me.

Fun fun in the happy hour

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