Thursday, 27 March 2014

Comrade Carl questions the value of HR as he announces a "win"

"Yobt tvyou mat, we have done it", announced  R&D Chief Comrade Carl Marks at a hastily convened management meeting this morning in the Joe Stalin Meeting Room.

Comrade Carl detailed his team's achievement.  "Our new product will be released in 3 weeks, and deployed on site in part of the former Ukraine, South Thailand and rural Albania".

Comrade Carl brought some vodka with him, and though Carl is a Lutheran born Atheist, he proposed we all drink "le-haim", which is a Jewish word, or Hebrew. Not sure. After all, I am from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan.

Le-haim-to life!
Comrade Carl clarified that we have "a few" bugs left to work out", and the "interface between R&D and deployment needs to be tweaked", yet, claims Carl, these difficulties "dwarf" the technical achievements. 

Hugh White from Diversity did not approve of the word dwarf. Moi, j'men calice. (Me? I don't give a f--k about Diversity, except that our switchboard is a stellar showcase of Diversity).

Then Comrade Carl added, "I know that this has been a long wait, and most of you comrades have been very patient. Thank you Stan. It "saddens me" that this great company has such a low level of HR support. Our workers have laboured days and night, in snow and in rain, with bravery that reminds me of the Battle for Stalingrad. Yet HR does nothing to make their hard effort worthwhile; there is no appreciation. I call upon Stan to allow me to hire my own HR business partner".

CEO Stan, drunk to the gills, looked at me and then texted me: "let it pass Glo; you are a great business partner, most of the time"

I am well paid.

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