Holacracy and Positive Thinking

One of our key customers told CEO Stan to "deliver an upgrade or we will uninstall your system". So Stan set up a conference call with all parties involved.

Stan was furious before the call  began. He has been looking for chief nerd Comrade Carl Marks in vain; Comrade Carl had been away studying Ukrainian and attending offsite about "Holacracy and Positive Thinking for a down-trod work force " and today was his first day back of the office.

Studying Ukrainian

All hell broke lose as our management call began; I would define the call as 75% non wow.

When CEO Stan described  the pressure from our key customer and demanded that Comrade Carl commit himself to a delivery date for the product upgrade, Comrade Carl said, "Why don't you manage the customer like Putin? Yop tvayu mat, where are your balls, boss? If I was managing the customer, they would be eating out of the palm of my hand!"

Stan became as red as the bottom third of the Russian flag. "Comrade Carl, YOU are managing your team like Obama , you spineless twerp!"

Stan looked my way and asked, "Why does HR allow meetings to become political, for Christ sake Gloria? Do your f--king job".

I texted our Chad based vendor to prepare a webinar on customer intimacy.

Vendors are global