Friday, 7 March 2014

Women's Day 2018 message from our white male CEO

                                                     I admired Ms Gertrude Bell 

Dear ladies,

Before I issued this email for women's day 2018, Gloria,  the first lady of HR gave me some background information. (I have been busy with the banks and creditors).

Gloria is my loyal HR business partner and sensor/censor.

Gloria told me that her Dad, the late Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom, used to refer to working women as "members of the ATS". Gloria  also told me by the way that looking at Ms Cynthia Axe's ass is no longer common accepted practice.

Even though I am an unworldly American, I clicked and read about the ATS to please sweet Gloria and the other ladies of HR on Women's Day 2018.

For my 2018 Womens Day gift,  I have sent all ladies in our firm a book on Gertrude Bell;  Miss Bell opposed women's suffrage but was a hard working independent lady with no children. I would also like to thank all the dainty "ladies" of our company. 

First, to Executive Vice President of HR Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux:  thank you for the business partnership and thanks for sending Wifey roses on Valentines Day when I forgot. Most of all thanks for your loyalty to my regime. As you say in French, mercy!

To the lovely and shapely Miss Cynthia Axe, 'Head of Early Bird Retirement" thank your for swinging your axe with such vigour, as we "re-size" our company-heading for growth in 2019. I love your new sweater and promise to keep my eyes and hands off your svelte rear end.

To all our lady engineers many of whom are named Svetlana or Natalie and other foreigners, who have adopted Virtual Parenting, to raise their noisy obnoxious brats. Thanks and spasiba.

Ladies, remember to keep putting the work back in work life balance. (I hope someone will translate this for the all too many lady nerds who don't speak English.)

And thanks to all the pregnant staff, male and female, who have agreed to travel by Greyhound.

And my dear wifey, thanks for the many management articles you leave me in the toilet on bots, blockchain and artificial intelligence (AI) for my daily perusal. 

Loves, hugs and kisses, 

CEO Stan

PS  I used to support the birth of a first child at 55, "as per business needs, and the good of the mother." I have been advised that this is no longer wise.

Ladies of the ATS

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