Monday, 10 March 2014

Comrade Carl Marks suggests: Dismantle HR

Product coming soon?
Because of my spiritual background, it is easy for me to forgive and move on. So when I think back to our last management meeting when Comrade Carl Marks questioned the value of HR, I am full of compassion and forgiveness.

Yet is this compassion misplaced? Today Comrade Carl gave a presentation as to why the next product release is delayed. (The word Comrade Carl used is "redeployed", not delayed). 

Comrade Carl rambled on about a "shifting marketplace"; Carl talked about "budgetary cycles in an ambiguous flux which impact the type of functionality clients are seeking out". Finally (90 minutes later), Comrade Carl spoke of a "lack of innovative culture" due to HR's over-regulating and the "havoc of mistrust" caused by the activities of the  "empty sloganeering of the HR department". 

In the final words of his ramble, Comrade Carl Marks suggested that "yop tvayu mat, if we eliminate the Diversity Department, eliminate the new OD function, and replace Gloria and Cynthia Axe with a voice mail menu, I could recruit 4 more engineers and get the product out the door in a month."

CEO Stan has provided some stellar leadership for our team. We have mission statements, visionary goals and our sacred core values are updated weekly. However, I was taken aback by Stan's remark to Comrade Carl at the end of the management meeting: "Comrade Carl, present the business case for dismantling HR in our next management meeting; "work with Gloria on this issue in a spirit of transparency".


Wellness program for nerds working from home

"Wellness" could have been my middle name. Alas, I have no middle name. But "alas" is such a formidable word. ...

Glo at her best