Saturday, 15 February 2014

3 easy steps to ERP implementation-HR Module

Winston and I will work hand in hand-simple as pie!
Mais oui.

Chairman Ed Montpetit-Maplewood has pushed very hard to have ERP software introduced this year.  Ed explained: "I wanna know what the f--k is going on! I want a sky high mountain of big data."

CEO Stan, still struggling to use his Blackberry Passport, was less enthusiastic about introducing ERP. 
Chairman Ed insisted telling Stan to "choose which ever vendor you are comfortable with". 
Stan acquiesced; Winston Wu was hired as the implementation contractor.

Veteran readers may know that the venerable Mr Winston Wu was the Head of IT at our company, and Wu's relationship with HR manager Gloria Ramsbottom was stormy due to ownership issues of Big Data. 

Wu resigned 7 months ago due to a scuffle with EVP HR, c'est mois, and now, he is "back in town". Malheureusement-that's French.

In his ERP for HR presentation to my HR team, Wu described the HR ERP modules in a 90 minute presentation. Wu enjoyed "some" participant engagement. However,
  1. I had an urgent issue to deal with so I was texting Stan's wife. 
  2. Down-sizer Cynthia Axe has had a fallout on financial issues with her father (the Reverend Oliver Axe) and was "less than focused". 
  3. Hugh White, from Diversity, was reading a book on his Blackberry called "Coughing at Work".
The right honourable Winston Wu promised "near seamless" integration of the HR software, providing that someone assumes ownership.

Wu asked me who will be the HR program manager for ERP and I asked what was entailed. 
When I heard the details, I gave the role to Hugh White, from Diversity, who turned it down and threatened to quit. White also started coughing nervously. 
Ms Axe was not emotionally available....so I told Wu that that HR will implement "self management" of the HR ERP process. 

Wu then texted  Chairman Ed who texted me and... I have decided to lead the HR ERP process. Mais oui! This will be an opportunity to exhibit my leadership skills.

I texted the right Honourable Winston Wu cc'ing Ed and Stan.
"Winnie-make it swift and  easy, SVP.  You be the man.  Gloria"

SVP is French for please. 

You can follow me @GRamsbottom








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