Thursday, 6 February 2014

One unbelievable way for HR put more skin in the game (#RH)

Downsizing-Re-branded and Upgraded

I sent Ms Cynthia Axe to North Korea to learn downsizing techniques and documented it in this post.

With baited breath, our entire firm has awaited an update from Cynthia vis a vis (a French word) how she will be transferring the knowledge acquired in NK in order to streamline the Early Bird Retirement Plan.

Cynthia was in North Korea when Kim Jong Un (not deux) downsized his dear Uncle Jang, feeding him to 120 hungry dogs-Gangman style. 
This appears to have been a compelling moment in Cynthia`s psyche, not because of the dogs, but because of the way that Uncle Jang was escorted out of the parliament on the way to the dogs.
Jang Song-Thaek reportedly being dragged out from his chair by two police officials during a meeting in Pyongyang. North Korea confirmed on December 9 that the powerful uncle of young leader Kim Jong-Un has been purged, with state TV airing humiliating images of Jang Song-Thaek being dragged away by uniformed officers
"I was most impressed"-Cynthia Axe

Finally, Cynthia Axe email arrived, sent to CEO Stan, cc'ing me. This is in line with key key value of putting more "skin into the game".

Voila (French)-here is the email that she sent. I believe that with all due respects, this is not in line with our core value of collegiality. (I may need to do some assertive career path planning for the impudent Ms Axe). 

Hi Stan,
Thanks for sending me to North Korea. Where would be without your wisdom? 
I think we ladies of HR should initiate a Premium Class of downsizing (the Uncle Jang Premium Class) whereby downsized senior executives are escorted out of the building by folks wearing military uniforms. 
It is dignified and stately.
Furthermore, you may know that 2 blocks south of our Supply Chain/HR building, there is a kennel, where the process can be terminated.
I know about the kennel because Diversity Chief  Hugh White volunteers works there every evening instead of going home to his wife, Soviet born Ludmilla.
After you review this, I suggest you ask Gloria Ramsbottom (your HR manager) about the tactical deployment issues. She is good at details.
I will ensure this email is classified as big data.
With skin in the game,

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