Friday, 7 February 2014

Holacratic downsizing

                                                                      Hugh Blanc-Un teton!

When CEO Stan focused Diversity Chief Hugh White on the diversity of the switchboard, I knew he was making an error. Mais oui! 

The best way to manage Hugh (who is a White heterosexual, btw) is not to give him any focus!

Hugh  hired a born-again phone operator name Henrietta, who over the past 5 years has been a Papist, a Protestant, a Taoist, a Jewess, a Buddhist and now is defines herself just as  "born again".
Henrietta is from New Orleans.

The problem is that Henrietta answers the phone saying "Praise the Lord and grace a dieu, at your service-a votre service." 

(Being from New Orleans, Henrietta knows some French from her 4th husband, who came from Quebec ancestry.)

When CEO Stan heard about this, he told me "Fire Hugh White, or I will throw you and him out of here!" As a senior business partner I listened attentively.

I walked by Hugh's cubicle and he was taking Russian lessons from R&D Chief Comrade Carl Marks, who is teaching Hugh to understand English with a Russian accent.
I smiled at Hugh with benevolence.

I dropped in to visit my agile holacratic down-sizer Ms Cynthia Axe, who got one time permission from me to enroll Henrietta in the Uncle Jang retirement program 
without a " fee", pronto. 

Sadly Hugh overheard my orders but when I walked out the door in a fit of anger, Hugh, whose ear was glued to Cynthia Axe's door, was knocked unconscious. 
By the time Hugh (White) woke up, Henrietta was "with Uncle Jang" as it were, in alignment with our core value of Diversity.


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