Thursday, 2 January 2014

Head of Training and Development Appointed.... under duress.

C'est une maison de fous
It's a madhouse

Events have unfolded quickly today.

CEO Stan and Wifey have 3 daughters, one of whom is 22 years old whose name is Carla; this summer Carla worked in R&D in quality control. There was not much to do because all our products are either ancient,  or being re-speced by Comrade Carl Marks' (R&D Chief) hapless team.

Now as of last night, it "appears" that Stan's daughter Carla has moved in with Comrade Carl Marks, and to make this more exciting, they are axe-pecting a child in 6 months. I am using the word appears, in order to be "bi-partisan". It is not politically correct to say Carl knocked up the boss' daughter, as my late Dad Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom would have put it.

This morning, Comrade Carl Marks broke this news to Stan, by text, as per our communication text-only policy. Stan had already been "texted" the info by Carla and a distraught Wifey.

Stan called me to his room by sending me a text. "Come to my office now, Glo".

When I arrived, he was eating a huge mountain of cost effective lasagna, prepared by his personal chef, K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein.

Livid is not a good word to describe Stan. He was "fit to be tied", as my late father Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom" would have said.

Stan and I had a "one-on-one". Stan kept asking me, "Kim Jong-Un (or deux) aside, what is the "perfect punishment, Glo"?

I returned to my office and texted the following message to "all".

"Comrade Carl Marks has been appointed Head of Talent Management, reporting into EVP HR Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux. He will continue as R&D manager until June 2014. Let's wish him good luck."

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