Thursday, 9 January 2014

Big data - Gloria denied visa to Saudi Arabia

                                                                  Did they think I was Jewish?
                                                                      Mecca is off

A vile (and heinous)  text was circulated today by text, Whatsapp, BBM, Yahoo Messenger, email and Google Talk to all employees in our company except me. The message was signed by R& D Chief Comrade Carl Marks. The name of the message was : Big Data

Even the folks in Supply Chain stopped squeezing vendors to read it. 

How did I find out what was written in this text? 
I wandered by the desk of heterosexual Hugh White, the white boy who runs Diversity and "noticed" this  text message on his email. I was not prying!

The text read: "Gloria has been denied a visa to Saudi Arabia, and no one knows why-perhaps Gloria is not aligned with our core value of transparency. This is big data."

I detest communication which is almost not accurate,  especially if it is big data. This Saudi whole affair has been taken out of context, as it were. 

I consulted  my coach, who also deals in faith healing and pumps gas. And I want to put things straight.

1) There was a time when I was interested in Womens` Rights, (before I became an HR business partner and subsequently noticed that pregnancies interfere with meeting wow wow wow stretch goals.)

2) When I was studying in Secretaries Academy (in Montreal), the Saudi ambassador did come and visit the Academy. At the time, I was co-Chairwoman of ``Liberté pour les femmes saoudiennes`` (Freedom for Saudi Women).

3) I was indeed chosen to greet the ambassador when he visited (I am from English Canada, but I speak French and I also know a few words in Arabic, which my Dad taught me.)
Dad served in the Mid East in the R.C.A.F (Royal Canadian Air Force).

4) I may have misunderstood the meaning of a few of the Arabic phrases Dad taught me.

5)  As the first lady of HR, I am fully globally compliant;  I know that Saudi Arabia does not welcome certain ethnicities with open arms, but I am not Jewish. (I do however like bagels and cream cheese for breakfast).

6) I have now spruced up my Arabic in a short webinar; were I to meet the ambassador again, I probably would rephrase a bit of what I said. Or more than a bit, perhaps.

7) I will reapply for a visa and dress appropriately, in line with my core value of building a power base globally.


  1. And what have you learned from this, Gloria?

  2. Dear Mr Paul,
    I am watching a webinar on lessons learned. When I finish it, "one of our attendants" will get back to you.