A vile (and heinous) text was circulated today by text, Whatsapp, BBM, Yahoo Messenger, email and Google Talk to all employees in our company except me. The message was signed by R& D Chief Comrade Carl Marks. The name of the message was : Big Data
Even the folks in Supply Chain stopped squeezing vendors to read it.
How did I find out what was written in this text?
I wandered by the desk of heterosexual Hugh White, the white boy who runs Diversity and "noticed" this text message on his email. I was not prying!
The text read: "Gloria has been denied a visa to Saudi Arabia, and no one knows why-perhaps Gloria is not aligned with our core value of transparency. This is big data."
I detest communication which is almost not accurate, especially if it is big data. This Saudi whole affair has been taken out of context, as it were.
I consulted my coach, who also deals in faith healing and pumps gas. And I want to put things straight.
1) There was a time when I was interested in Womens` Rights, (before I became an HR business partner and subsequently noticed that pregnancies interfere with meeting wow wow wow stretch goals.)
2) When I was studying in Secretaries Academy (in Montreal), the Saudi ambassador did come and visit the Academy. At the time, I was co-Chairwoman of ``Liberté pour les femmes saoudiennes`` (Freedom for Saudi Women).
3) I was indeed chosen to greet the ambassador when he visited (I am from English Canada, but I speak French and I also know a few words in Arabic, which my Dad taught me.)
Dad served in the Mid East in the R.C.A.F (Royal Canadian Air Force).
4) I may have misunderstood the meaning of a few of the Arabic phrases Dad taught me.
5) As the first lady of HR, I am fully globally compliant; I know that Saudi Arabia does not welcome certain ethnicities with open arms, but I am not Jewish. (I do however like bagels and cream cheese for breakfast).
6) I have now spruced up my Arabic in a short webinar; were I to meet the ambassador again, I probably would rephrase a bit of what I said. Or more than a bit, perhaps.
7) I will reapply for a visa and dress appropriately, in line with my core value of building a power base globally.