3 problem areas to be addressed by master chef techiques

Haute Cuisine-That's French

CEO Stan texted me today: "We have 3 problem areas; fix them in a week. Stan"

The areas Stan referred to are -

1) Senior Management Team: verbal abuse between all members of the team and lack of respect for CEO Stan.

  2) Sales and R&D: fire bombing and "necklacing"  between the groups.

 

  3) The HR team: lack of popularity, due to the Head of Early Bird Retirement, Engagement and AI propaganda, Ms Cynthia Axe.

As HR Business Partner, I have always prepared for such a contingency, which means possibility. I know that many readers of my blog speak lousy English.

First, I had a breakfast meeting with K Ray Beauregard-Goldstein (Stan's chef)  for breakfast. He served "oeufs pochés" (poached eggs) and some left over lasagna. I asked for a croissant and K Ray obliged. He buttered it for me.

I asked that the chef prepare a cooking-class seminar which would tackle all issues in one fell swoop. I mentioned to K Ray that this plan helps him to become a profit centre.

 K Ray will teach the cooking, and I will facilitate the "transfer of training".

The expected "take-aways" are:

• Senior management will cook pizzas to throw at one another.
• Sales and R&D will cook baked beans, so they will stay away from one another.
• HR will cook apple pie and hand it out to all employee who send a "text of praise" about HR to Stan.

Supply Chain will work on internal transfer pricing, so that both K Ray will become a sustainable profit centre.

HR's has a policy of vendor-free Organizational Development.  So, this course is in line with our core value of self-reliance, like the government of North Korea.