Wednesday, 8 January 2014

I am not Russian-so Stan can pronounce my name

                                                                  I'm lucky I am not Russian
                                                                  Je ne suis pas russe; grace a dieu

After the blowup between R&D Chief Comrade Carl Marks and our CEO Stan, which was read by 51,000 people in 3 days, CEO Stan decided to mentor Comrade Carl's key staff. This was done  in "loose" coordination with Comrade Carl and in wow wow wow coordination with me, Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, Chief People Officer.

Stan chose Comrade Svetlana as the first employee he wants to mentor. Svetlana is the Chief System Architect.

During the mentoring session, I got 3 text messages from Stan: "Gloria, I cannot understand what Svetlana is saying. When did she get off the boat? Stan".

After the mentoring session, Svetlana came to my room. I was sending a text message; Svetlana  waited patiently for 30 minutes. When compassion overcame me and I let her in, Svetlana asked to be transferred to another mentor. 

When I asked why, I learnt that Stan had said to her:  "I will call you Sweat." 

Svetlana added:  "When I told him to try to pronounce my name properly,  he told me "to take up the issue with the white heterosexual, Diversity Chief Hugh White, who deals with sexuality and many other issues linked to non-normative behaviour and irregular names".

I suggested  to Svetlana that she meet with Cynthia Axe, Head of Early Bird Involuntary Retirement.

Stan sent me a text just now: "Gloria, get Sweatlana a name I can pronounce Thx. Stan".

When I think back, the two week course I took in Night School (Purchasing, Coaching, Procurement and HR) did not prepare me for all eventualities. I am grateful that I am so creative.

I suggested to Svetlana that she change her name to Natalie.

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