Saturday, 14 December 2013

No one speaks Russian except the Russians.

People gossip because of my importance as a Business Partner

Hugh White (the white heterosexual boy who runs my Diversity department) came into my room to caution me about nasty rumours.

This surprised me because I do not fall under any of the categories that Hugh White supports. I am a regular girl from Moose Jaw, which is in Saskatchewan, who became a senior HR manager by "dint" of my career as a procurement agent, secretary, and my deep love of people. Dint is a nice word, n'est pas?

After Hugh updated me about the vicious rumours, I was shocked so I  called my reputation coach, who also pumps gas and teaches appreciative inquiry. My coach told me to issue the following clarification:

I want to shed light on the content of my relationship with Comrade Boris Ivanovitch. It is true that Comrade Boris Ivanovitch from Engineering drops by my office from time to time. 
It is true that Comrade Boris asks for some privacy and we close the door. 
It is true that some of our discussions last for more than a few minutes. 
After all, I am an Human Resources specialist.

Comrade Boris Ivanovich has a daughter named Anushka. She studies ballet. My mother, Constance Ramsbottom, is a ballet teacher in Moose Jaw. And yes, I did dance in  ballet when I was public school.  I am trying to arrange for my mother to look at Anushka's dancing and  access how "far Anushka can go". That is almost the only thing we discuss.

Furthermore, Comrade Boris Ivanovitch loves music. And since he is here on relocation and he works very hard, he is unaware of where he can quench his love for music. My brothers, Frank and Ernest Ramsbottom, have a band. I believe that they can contribute to Comrade Boris' quality of life until he returns to Russia in a year. This is the second subject we discuss.

The third subject we discuss is blockchain, a joint interest we both share. Comrade Boris loves blockchains, especially the Austrian variety.

It is almost not true that I am taking Russian lessons. I know a word or two, because one evening, Comrade Boris Ivanovitch brought in his daughter to say hello and they spoke some Russian in my office; I picked up a few words.

I stand by our English language police-Y and I reaffirm that no one speaks Russian except the Russians.

My relationship with Comrade Boris Ivanovitch is professional, and in line with our core value of comradeship. 


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