Vendors sought to prepare 3 new global webinars

Who needs Training or OD?

I am looking for cost effective vendors willing to be paid by barter to prepare 3 webinars for our R&D development team, currently almost "struggling" to define the next release of our defunct product.

1) "A Problem is a Problem only if you think it is a problem"
This webinar  should be 90 seconds, with subtitles in Russian, Chinese, Hebraic, Urdu, Croatian, Ukrainian and Tamil. English should be clear and understandable,  not like a Scotch accent.
The goal of this webinar is to motivate the lazy, slovenly, laid back and non-wow bums who get paid for sending texts and doing Facebook, instead of saving our company.
This is one of the last webinars we will "do" in Russian. No one speaks Russian anymore, except for a few Russians. No con-calls are ever held in Russian.

2) "HR Business Partnership ensures success"
This mission critical webinar should be 30 minutes and illustrate the value of HR: business partnership, diversity and respect for most people, re-sizing and COPensation, and almost vendor-less OD to drive Change Management. The word ""Big Data " and its affinity to HR should be mentioned 5 times.

3) From high level design to product 
This is a technical webinar, which does not interest me. I am a Business Partner. And our budget for this is very limited.

All the actors should be English speaking or have a slight accent, preferably not Scotch from Glasgow.
Most actors from most minority groups can apply, since Hugh White needs to ensure these global webinars are Diversity Compliant.

PS: These webinars are but one of the nails in OD's sustainable coffin. The other nails are:

•  Unbundling of HR services
•  Cooking courses
•  Outdoor axe-periences
•  Cost effective coaching done by plumbers and electricians, who rewire the brain and release "thought blockages".