Sunday, 10 November 2013

Bullying defined

Getting it right

Wifey (our CEO Stan's better half) read an article on Management Bullying. Wifey whipped out her mobile (a white Blackberry Passport) and texted Stan: "Stop bullying employees, or don't come home tonight".

Stan texted me: "Glo, set up an anti-bullying police-Y for most cases-implemented by 5 pm-Stan".

I convened a meeting with Hugh White (Diversity), Cynthia Axe (Early Bird Retirement) and with chief nerd, Comrade Carl Marks. After a brainstorming session (during which we all multi-tasked in an agile fashion), we issued the following agile definition of bullying, effective immediately.

Definition of Bullying: 
  • Speaking tribal dialects instead of English at work
  • Having a European, Asia, or foreign accent in a con call so people need to ask "Can you repeat that"?
  • Overdosing on work life life life balance so that projects are delayed. 
  • Refusing to text whilst driving (on work related issues)
  • Rumor mongering about HR business partnership being "kissing Stan's rear end"
  • Closing your phone whilst having sex during client crisis
In our next meeting, we will set up a plan to root out bullying, in line with our core values of "a wow place to work".

Until the next meeting, Hugh White (Diversity) will gather bullying related information based on ethnicity, colour, creed, &  other big data.

1 comment:

  1. No laughing matter, and something Millennials won't tolerate, at least the college-educated ones.