Saturday, 26 October 2013

Work work work life balance-service pack upgrade

Putting the work back into work life balance

CEO Stan  supports work work work life balance, in line with our core value of manipulation.

In this spirit, Stan has working lunches at his resilient, agile and sustainable mahogany desk, stuffing his fat face with his private chef K Ray Beauregard's cost effective lasagna.

The HR department (in the spirit of business partnership) use our lunchtimes to put the work back into work life balance. We ladies of HR all watch cost effective webinars on creative ways to reengage our employees and re-size, whilst keeping morale high. Hugh White (from Diversity) joins us. Hugh is male, white and straight.

CEO Stan DOES understands the need to eat! So whilst eating, here is how we attain an a work work work life balance.
  • Lunches are now called sustainable and global working-lunches.
  • Please feel free to eat whilst sending work related sms-text related messages and emails.
  • One may eat at the work station  and eat in the elevator.
  • Our dining room will be undergoing ax-tensive renovations with a vendor yet to be chosen and never to be paid.
  • Please avoid dropping crumbs on  your keyboard.
  • Please avoid spilling coffee on your company owned Blackberry and less sophisticated devices.
  • Idle chatter and socializing are encouraged on weekends.
  • Each employee is encouraged to watch a wow wow HR webinar once a week, whilst having a working lunch.
  • VIRTUAL PARENTING is forbidden during working lunches.

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