An ever-critical and irritated Wifey told our CEO Stan, "Stanley, no one will buy your poorly performing company until you manage the talent better; you need a Talent Management Program "service pack fix. Have Gloria handle this for you".
So before I went home for the weekend, I put together a fix for Stan, based on our core values of "keeping Wifey at bay".
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| Talent Management service pack |
1) We will hang a sign in each cubicle, "Let's beef up our skills, to easy Wifey's shrills".
2) If we get "some more" revenue, we may build bench strength. We are looking for a carpenter. In the meantime, we will do a needs assessment. I LOVE the term "needs assessment".
3) Our Talent Management Program will be re-branded S.T.M, Sustainable Talent Management.
4) We will commission a webinar from a diversity expert on Managing Diverse Talent.
Since our engineers are so "limited", the diversity category we will focus on is talented English speaking Engineers.
Since our engineers are so "limited", the diversity category we will focus on is talented English speaking Engineers.
5) People processes will be integrated into our business practices. Does anyone know what this means?
6) Performance evaluation will be enhanced based on intrinsic motivation and flex-goals, retroactively set. Wow! Them is fighting words.
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