Sunday, 15 September 2013

Wifey steps in and Jennifer gets a political coach

Wifey, our CEO’s wife, is unhappy for 3 reasons:

Tim Buck, the new Chairman, has weakened her husband Stan's position by appointing Carl Marks, his nephew asR&D Chief.

Carl has used his HR Business Partner, a certain Jennifer Papadopolous-Otelini (who has neither Greek nor Italian heritage) to neutralize me, Gloria Ramsbottom, Stan's EVP HR.

Carl and Jennifer do not act on the management article she reads, the most recent of which is about applying the Confucian principles of unequal relationships on management techniques.

Wifey and the lovely Ms Cynthia Axe, who won “Miss Mississippi” before she entered HR, cut a deal with Wifey. The full extent of the deal is unknown even to me, but part of it become public knowledge today. (Ms Axe heads our Early Bird Retirement Plan and runs our downsizing portal).

Wifey received an envelope from a certain Ms Axe containing photos sent from Tim Buck’s phone. Wifey took the envelope and met with a certain Tim Buck, Chairman of the Board. 
Mr. Buck, always acutely aware of the need for a balanced lifestyle, asked the Board to relieve him of his duties “so I can spend more time with my beloved wife of 38 years and 15 grandchildren”.  

All signs of Mr Buck’s existence in Immature Products were destroyed; his email shut down, and he was never seen again. Before he left, Mr. Buck donated 10 M dollars to Immature Products' cash flow. Mr. Buck’s career was buried in Mt Nebo, near the tomb of the career of Sybil Civil.

Mr. Buck’s telephone ( a platinum Blackberry Q10) was given to Cynthia Axe, who was promoted to 2nd in command of HR. Ms Axe left for Glasgow Scotland, with a first class ticket , for a week vacation. Scotland is near England.

Carl Marks, Head of R&D, noted the events and spent the afternoon consulting with Jennifer Papadopolous-Otelini, who calmed Carl down: “all this doesn’t matter, Comrade Carl. I will cook Gloria’s goose.”

Carl noted that Jenny needs a political coach.

No comments:

Post a Comment