Saturday, 21 September 2013

Augmenting the Impact of HR on Strategy
HR plays Key Role

Our CEO Stan rolled out our new strategic plan for Q 4 based on 3 major sustainable (and global) principles:

1-Strategic sales will be boosted to get market share, even if this entails a "semi wow" almost break-even +- , from which we can easily recuperate, based on the outstanding service we plan to develop.

2-Cost cutting to allow "breathing space" for that useless nitwit Comrade Carl Marks, Head of R&D, and his band of lazy thugs, to churn out something that works. HR second in command, a certain Cynthia Axe will support cost cutting via her Early Bird Retirement Plan, as will Sarah Barracuda-Minnow, Head of Procurement, and one of Gloria's clerks.

3-Massive use of  IMT-"Intrinsic Motivation Tools", to be developed by HR SVP Gloria Ramsbottom, who has delegated this global, sustainable, moronic and grisly task to a certain Jennifer Papadopolis-Otelini, Gloria's junior file clerk and former HRBP to Carl Marks.

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