Diversity bores me.
The nosy government will be carrying out a dreaded Diversity audit this month.
White and straight Diversity Chief Hugh White will prepare a 5 step plan to combat covert racism.
I texted Hugh some of my input, using my Blackberry Leap. (CEO Stan calls Blackberry a "piece of Canadian crap". This is also a diversity issue, from a big data point of view).
My input to Hugh:
1) The Scot who works at the switchboard should get English language training.
2) Prayer mats should be purchased for all employees, religious or not.
3) Monday should ethnic food day. No US or Canadian food to be tolerated. Staff will be charged a small Diversity tax of 2% on these ethnic meals, as soon as the audit is over. (Poutine will be considered an ethnic food).
4) People with hyphenated names like Ramsbottom-Lemieux, Laporte-McLean, Rosenberg-Rochambeau and Lau-McNab will be allowed to use both names on their email signature.
5) Hugh White will stop gossiping about the sex lives of our staff.