For Gloria, dial 4;for Cynthia dial 4
In line with our core value of greater axe-cessibility of HR services in a timely fashion, we have updated our HR voice menu in our call centre. Here it is:-
"Wow, you have reached HR, headed by EVP HR Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, business partner and chartered coach."
- For voluntary pay cuts, press 0.
- For a guide to enhancing work-work-work-work-work-life balance, press 1.
- For your key objectives, press 2.
- To hear some of Stan's motivational speeches, please press 3
- For a personal yet risky one on one with a certain Ms Cynthia Axe, Head of Early Bird Retirement, press 4. Please note that Ms Axe needs to trim 50 people this wow week.
- To hear this global English menu in Chinese or Russian, press 4.
- For aboriginal, women's and minority rights, please press 4.
- For sexual harassment issues, please press 4.
- For major and minor health issues, please press 4.
- To speak to Ms Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux, SVP HR and certified coach, please send her a brief and actionable text, then press the last 4 numbers of your credit card.
- To hear about HR's business partnership with Stan, stay on the line and speak to an " attendant" in Turkmenistan, who is now acquiring some English skills.
- For talent management, career path, knowledge management and others fads of the week, please hang up and we will return your call, upon the release of our next product.