Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Top 3 disciplinary items and corrective actions

Our company, Immature Products,  has a vast array of non wow disciplinary issues, given that a lot of our work force is not located in Germany, the UK and the global USA.

Here are our top 3 problems, and the solutions meted out by Cynthia Axe, Head of Early Bird Retirement Plan.
As the song goes: My object all sublime, I will achieve in time, to let the punishment fit the crime.

1) Having a strong accent in a concall

This happens to many of our Russian, Indians, Israelians and Chinese engineering labourers. However, the Thais have more infrigmenents than anyone else.
For each time an American says "can you repeat that", the worker with the accent is fined 2 dollars.

2) Not texting whilst driving

Stan values our safety. So he demands people wear safety belts. In parallel, texts and sms messages from Stan da Man are to be answered "in an urgent fashion", in line with our core values.
For each text which is not answered due to driving, the slovenly labourer is sent to Moscow for a week in January.

3) Not valuing HR Business Partnership 

Some people call me and Cynthia nasty names. The word usually rhymes with pitch, or Mitch.
The fine meted out is to get tenure in R&D.

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