This is a text message to "all" to update on a restructure of the HR Department, in alignment with our core values, Of course, we will align our new voice mail menu as well.
1) Ms Cyntha Axe will remain in charge of our Early Bird Retirement Plan, doubling as an anti-stress coach and filing clerk.
Her Samsung Z phone will be replaced by an S10.
Ms Axe will also liase with our "cooking course" vendor. Our cooking course solves all major organizational problems, relieving us of the need for OD.
Ms Axe will now be at level 2.52, which entitles her to use the executive elevator.
2) Winston Wu will continue to be IT lead, reporting into me.
Wu is relieved of his role as HR's representative on the Diversity Team. Wu considers himself a Canadian, which is strange because his grandfather was born in Hong Kong, Shatin area.
Wu will report dotted line into our CEO Stan on Big Data, which is a disgrace, given how strategic HR is.
Wu's Galaxy will be replaced with a new Iphone, against my better judgement.
Cynthia Axe will examine "load control issues" in Wu's overstaffed, spoiled and corrupt IT shop.
Wu is now my grovelling clerk but also parallel to my rank and station on Big Data Issues, ie, Level 1-1
What the hell is Big Data anywat? A bunch of baloney, my father Pierre Eliiot Ramsbottom would say.
3) Procurement will now report into HR. Until now Procurement was a peer of mine.
Ms Sarah Barracuda, Head of Procurement, will be relieved of her old phone and get Wu's old Galaxy.
Ms Barracuda will be relieved of her spacious office and sit in open space. She can work from home, but won't get paid.
Ms Barracuda will ensure we remain OD-vendor free.
Ms Barracuda will be do an on line webinar on "pain relieving for vendors who don't get paid enough", in line with our core values.
I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career. "People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
How to determine a candidate's ability to work in an AI - rich environment
"AI" could have been my middle name, but alas I was not given a middle name. This having been said, even someone who has no midd...
Glo at her best
-
Om hundred 'aar er alting glemt Had it not been for the fact that I do not speak Danish, I would have been invited to be the ke...
-
Nose to the ground If l keep my ears to the ground, I notice there are plenty of external factors I need to take into account in ...
-
What is your cut on Artificial Intelligence? First of all, it's very artificial. That having been said, I ask you all-is this AI "p...
-
With the number of nerds applying for leave following the death of family members back in their tribal homelands, it became incumbent upon...
-
Yes it's true that there are some nerds who decide to part with us in this epoque (French) of economic and social upheaval. Some of t...
-
If you have ever worked with me, it’s clear that Artificial Intelligence is an add-on, a scaffold and or a rudimentary primitive “app” w...
No comments:
Post a Comment