Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Unbundling HR services as a driving major component of HR Business Partnership

I have unbundled HR services-mais oui!


CEO Stan gave me a seat at the table because of my business partnership. I use the word "business partnership" daily  more frequently than I send text messages via Whatsapp....which is quite something.


In order for HR to maintain a seat at the table, we need to constantly augment our business partnership.  

As such, I have put together a plan to become vendor of choice and un-bundle our HR services, which emphasizes our understanding of the business.

From now until 2018, 
HR will be a compulsory and forced "vendor of choice", yet our product suite is to be unbundled.

Here is our virtual price list as we un-bundle our services to achieve full business partnership.
  • Firing people by text: $1
  • Firing people in a group: $2 per head
  • Firing people in a one on one with the venerable Ms Cynthia Axe: $4
  • Firing people in a one on one with Cynthia Axe and an anti stress massage: $61
  • Putting people on Corrective Ax-tion Plan:  $5
  • Plan to raise morale whilst cutting benefits: $20
  • A one on one with Gloria Ramsbottom-Lemieux:  $909 and tax
  • A yearly subscription to the HR weekly rag "The Rams' Bottom": $222 yearly for English speakers; $500 for our nerd version in Hindi, Urdu, Danish, Hebrew, Ukrainian, Chinese or Russian.

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