Wednesday, 24 July 2013

I need vendors to develop 3 new webinars

We understand poor English

CEO Stan, who is heavily influenced by his omniscient Wifey, now has a  sexual fetish about "on line learning". 

Wifey has read 2 articles this week on the very subject of on-line learning. She has hammered the importance of on line learning into Stan's head, especially when he wakes up.

We all know how useless it is, but it is cheap. In my experience, people text and do Facebook whilst learning. (I have an attention deficit issue, my Dad used to say).

Stan does not like paying for on line learning, so I have an ok to purchase only cost effective webinars from Russia, Uzbekistan, Quebec or Scotland, as long as the presenters have "a reasonable English accent".

Here are the 3 webinars I am commissioning.

(BTW, I love the word "commissioning" because my father, Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom from Moose Jaw, was a commissioned officer in the RCAF).

1) The Death of the Russian and Chinese Languages in Global Business

In this webinar, people who speak in Chinese or Russian will not be understood, and then they need to start speaking English.

2)  Work work work -life Balance

In this webinar, a worker named Ivan Stachanovitch eats lunch next to his PC whilst texting.

3) HR as Business Partner

In this webinar, Stan and Gloria sit at a mahogany table and make business decisions, and in the background is Cynthia, sharpening her axe.

Vendors who are "learning" English can apply.
Payment by barter.

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