Axe Cynthia leads our Early Bird Retirement Plan, aka "Life begins at 38".
In her brief lifetime, Axe has fired 700 people with her bare hands, and gone thru 2 Iphones which broke down due to too much texting.
During recent "industrial action" by the useless, ungrateful bums in Engineering, urged on by a bitter Winston Wu from IT, Ms Axe has become the source of abuse.
Ms Axe rendered her resignation today, based on input from her life partner (of a week), K. Ray Beauregard-Goldstein, who has a hyphenated name as well as a mixed ethnic background. He is from Ottawa, which is the capital of Canada. (not Toronto)
I immediately refused to ax-cept her resignation (given the grisly tasks that await her in Q3) and I gave her a new Samsung Galaxy tablet, as well as a new Blackberry Z10.
I offered her "reputation coaching" to change "the percerptions of her work by staff". She grabbed it with both of her white hands.
Being American, Axe speaks only English; she used to work in technical presales. The coach needs reasonable English, although Axe has lots of inter-axe-tion with many people whom she hardly understands.
You can apply for the coaching role by leaving a message. Deferred payment by barter.
I am the First Lady of HR with a stellar career. "People" is my middle name, on Tuesdays.
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I speak in many tongues - will make an axe-cellent coach.
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