|A dignified HRBP
Following the partial deployment of our 32nd software service pack to a non-wow satisfied customer, revenues are not up this quarter, and a certain Ms Cynthia Axe, who heads our Early Bird Retirement plan, will have her white, non minority hands full.
Axe will axe about 60% of the G&A, in a timely fashion consistent with our Talent Management Guidelines. Big Data will not officially be impacted.
Axe (Cynthia) has recently complained of sore wrists, headaches and malaise. Malaise is a French word.
Axe wants to become a massage, anti stress coach, and I am looking for a brief course that will certify her, and make her feel more dignified. Here is what I am looking for:
- Brief (5 hours)
- Gives a degree with letters to put after a family name, like MD or LLB.
- Delivered by a member of a minority tribe
- Cost effective
And most important: Ms Axe needs to feel dignified.