Saturday, 4 May 2013

Senior Management Offsite - looking for a top and wow vendor

Our senior management team is going off site for a one day brainstorming session  on "aligning with success".

The context of the offsite is the withdrawal of interest  of all the investors who were looking at purchasing our wow wow wow company, the churn rate of 30% of our useless and greedy engineers, our high cash burn rate (excuding Stan's first class travel) , and the overtime being invested by HR in our Early Bird Retirement Plan. (A certain Ms Axe is working 16 hours a day, to ensure a timely reshaping of our axpenses.)

Stan has asked that the wow wow offsite be:


  1. practical
  2. global
  3. sustainable
  4. in line with our core values
  5. flexible
  6. built to last (until Stan retires)
  7. kick-ass (the engineering dept)
  8. civil
  9. powerful yet mellow
  10. high impact
  11. fun fun fun
  12. popular (average score of 9 out of 10) on summary sheet 
I am looking for a top wow cost-effective  vendor who needs to be willing to work for a barter. The vendor should speak English with a British, French or "Scotch" accent.
Please contact gloria.ramsbottom@gmail.com




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