Friday, 3 May 2013

Urine Retention Strategy in 4 hour meeting

Various types of retention strategy

Today, we had our weekly RRR meeting ( release readiness review) for Software Release 0.0000000.1, due to have been released 14 months ago. At the review, Chief Nerd  Comrade Carl Marks spoke for 4 hours on a list of "developmental challenges" that his foreign nerds are addressing, such as client ignorance and user lack of sophistication.
May I note that the churn rate of talented engineers who speak English is 300% a quarter. However, cost of labour is low.

CEO Stan noticed that 
during Comrade Carl's 4 hour presentation, many folks had urine retention issues .  
During the RRR, Stan texted me and asked me to develop a "Retention Strategy" that will "enable focus and alignment".

It was unclear if Stan was referring to retention, or urine retention. So I used my common sense and updated our process as follows:

Diuretics will be eliminated from our "wellness package" and toilet availability will be aligned with our urine retention strategy.

I remember that my Dad Pierre Elliot used to watch Friday Night Boxing on American TV, "pumped up" into Canada. One Friday, just as he took a frequent bathroom break, the fighter he was betting on was knocked out cold. He looked at me  and said, "Christ Gloria, I wish I would not have missed that".

4 hours!
Like a politruk!

1 comment:

  1. Craaaaaaazy blog..........thanks