Saturday, 11 May 2013

Roles and Responsibilties in our HR Department

The ladies of HR
White and heterosexual

I have been approached by several folks in the civilized and 3rd world  to describe the workings of my HR department and I shall do so briefly and in a "timely fashion", in line with my core value of brevity and self promotion.

As EVP HR, I handle 

  • corporate communication via texting
  • sloganeering
  • human capital and spare part management
  • people issues every second Wednesday
  • cater to CEO Stan
  • damage control vis a vis (that's French) Stan's  brainy wife (Wifey)
  • sitting in my seat at the executive table serving as  HR business partner whatever that means
  • I also handle our vendor-less OD program.  

My Dad would have asked me-explain that again Gloria, cuz I don`t understand what the fuck you do.

I also do coaching/change management/OD to our IoT nerds in remote sites. I smash union activity in the embryonic stage using pompous slogans and hidden microphones, in line with my core value of trusted advisor.

I update our core values weekly.

I use a Blackberry Q10, big data, intuition and political acumen to get my job done.

My restless assistant, a certain Ms Cynthia Axe, deals with implementation of re-sizing, downsizing, reshaping and well-being. Ms Axe is also liason (French) to CEO Stan's office on technical matters; she reports into Stan dotted line, whatever that means. Ms Axe uses an I Phone 6.

Huge White is a white boy with heterosexual inclinations. He runs our Diversity department, in line with our core value of compliance. Hugh ensures our irregular Internet of things nerds do not get us sued. Hugh has an old Nokia, and a Russian born wife, Comrade Ludmilla Khrushchev-White.

Jean-Marie, my all purpose training horse, met a young lady in Provence and retired. He now lives with his girlfriend Celine in Mt Laurier, Quebec. That is in Canada, north of the USA. Jean Marie has no phone since he is a horse.


  1. Sybil should be allowed the pronoun she or he prefers, or identifies with, or wants to identify with.

    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

    2. Sybil wants to be a she.
      On the ODnet however, there were people who claimed that besides being self promotion, this blog was Aunty Female.
      As we all know, most of the people in HR are males and most CEOs are females.
      Sybil just wants to be a she.
      However........her favourite song is an oldie called "My Uncle used to love me but she died".

  2. Wait - does Jean Marie live In 'Sin' or Mt Laurier? I am so confused? And is Jean Marie a Papist?

    1. Dura,
      Jean Marie is a heathen, although he has one brother who is the the clergy.
      Mt Laurier is a quaint little town in Northern Quebec. Just south of Mt Laurier is a small town called Val Barret, where his girlfriend (a fashion model) hails from.
      Gloria Lemieux