Thursday, 9 May 2013

Maternity Leave-updated policy

Loves paying maternity leave
Our cash strapped but humane CEO Stan loves loves Bank Holidays, the Jewish and Chinese new year, and paying for maternity leave just as much as he enjoys hemorrhoids. 

Yet, Stan wants to show his love for the new mothers employed in our company. 
Stan asked HR how to do so and was presented a plan by his HR business partner.

HR is proud to announce that Stan has agreed that the company shall pay for car insurance for private (non company) vehicles which mothers use for work for the first 6 weeks after giving birth, to be calculated by the day of birth at 1 am.

 4 minor pre-conditions need to be met:
  1. Age of mother is 55 +
  2. Mother uses virtual parenting a week after birth.
  3. Mother puts work back into work work work - life balance.
  4. Mother texts whist driving as needed to support "constant availability" and safety. (insurance available
Supporting the business, as it were

1 comment:

  1. are you embedded in our company?