|Texting words of re-engagement to our slovenly engineers|
Using our not so popular Early Bird Retirement Plan, Ms Cynthia Axe from HR re-sized the Big Data/IoT Team from 350 bums down to 288 in line with our core values of "HR business partnership".
I provided the "liberated engineers" with some "text-enabled coaching" to soften the landing in a humane fashion, in line with my core value constant self-promotion.
Yet our CEO Stan is unhappy, and sent me a text, using Whatsapp.
- "Glo, I do not want to see any despondency and foot dragging when we all get in on Monday. I want folks fully re engaged "by Wednesday". "And Glo", he followed up with a second text,"I will hold your feet to the fire if I do not see a passion to win by the end of the week".
Axe (Cynthia) and I brainstormed by text this morning and put in place a risk-mitigation plan.
- EVERY employee will get a text message saying : "To cool Stan's rage, let's re-engage"!
- Old paper cups will be replaced by cups with our new logo. Each cup will be engraved with: Stan's patience is thin, show a passion to win."
- On the elevators and bulletin boards, we will show our forecast of ax-pected growth for 2019 with the slogan: Bust your butt, or we'll be in a rut.
- Asap, our entire staff will have a weekend in Harare to build team spirit.