Tuesday 14 May 2013

Wow wow changes in global travel policy

Mais oui! Getting better all the time.

In order to align costs with the glowing revenues expected in 2018, as well as  with the almost-inevitable semi-wow present dip impacting current revenues (due to the useless bums in R&D who cannot crank out a product or speak English well enough to explain what the problem is),  new wow wow wow travel policy changes are now in effect.

  • Night flights which save dirty and useless hotels are "flights of choice".
  • Pyongyang is now a "destination of choice" as we migrate to North Korean change management methodology, inspired by the Great Leader who recently re-positioned his Uncle Jang without resistance.
  • Per diem are now global; 10 a day. The currency to be chosen is the "depreciating currency of the month", as per the publication of the global and sustainable World Bank's web site, Farsi edition. Hugh White ( Caucasian, heterosexual) Diversity Chief to ensure no ones' feelings are hurt.
  • Air Uzbekistan, with its friendly staff,  is our international airline of choice. 
  • In order to encourage globalism, staff will fly out on the weekend, and return on the weekend. This will also enable work work work work work work work work life balance.
  • Staff will take a luxury public bus from airports to the hotel;  taxis can be taken after 0200 am until 0500 am with the the ok of our HR "help centre", staffed by a certain Ms Cynthia Ax, Head of Early-Bird Retirement.
  •  Employees are encouraged to make lunch from the free breakfast buffet, as part of our sustainability campaign.
  • Suppers should be aligned with our super-special 300 calorie wow wow wow "we are all healthy" campaign.
  • In case of delays, minor re-booking charges are covered by employees and will re-reimbursed in due time, as our revenue stream increases, in a timely fashion. This is in line with "social responsibility".  

CEO Stan's itinerary will be handled by his personal assistant, to prevent any dramas from developing. 
HR will ensure a civil discourse and appropriate rumour management around Stan's extravagant habits.

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