Sunday, 24 March 2013

Monitoring and Sensing a nerd


I sense Stan well



Capitulating out of blind obedience to our great leader and CEO Stan, I have agreed that we need better sensors out in the "field" to know what our nerds think.

I shall recruit cost effective sensors of all creeds, disabilities and colours, under the guidance of my Diversity Manager, the white heterosexual named Hugh White, who is married to Comrade Ludmilla White, nee Khrushchev.

The goal of these sensors is to uncover what's really on the mind of the moody Sales folks who refuse to promote embryonic  product to potential clients.

Indeed, we need censors in many "junctures"of our company. What a word!

In yesterday's Design Review con call, I noticed we had a lot of mutual finger pointing and negativism about a potential non wow delay in an upcoming release date, which could greatly augment the work load of a certain Ms Cynthia Axe.

Ms Axe now leads our wow wow wow Involuntary Early Bird Retirement Plan.

After big data (I love this word) is gathered about why we have this negativism, I will meet with Stan about the role of the censors, which may entail:

a-provide data which will enable more "engagement" of the slovenly non wow wow  wow Sales Force

b-provide positive feedback to Stan.
c-Provide a plausible release date based on what hungry new recruits think is doable
d-provide good news to Stan and position HR as worthy of a seat at the table.

The discrete senors/censors will periodically meet Cynthia (Axe) to maintain their motivation.

Ensuring motivation

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