Friday, 22 March 2013

Adjusting costs-humanely

Stan read an article last week night, prompted once again by Wifey, ever the humanist.

The article (Have a Heart) prompted CEO's to ensure that even in tough times, cost adjustment is done so that the firm maintains its sustainability and attractiveness, "to ensure quality existence over time".

Stan texted me the link and asked for a timely plan to become more humane as we chop costs drastically this quarter.

1 Radio Switerland Classic will now be piped into Ms Ax's room, as she "executes" her ghastly RIF (reduction in force) program.

2 HR will prepare a email will all of Stan's inspirational speeches, which emphasize work life balance, and I will not use the term work work work work work life balance, because some people find it upsetting.

3 A webinar will be be commissioned on sustainabilty in our firm, based upon the establishment of a knowledge management portal, Stan's leadership, and Ms' Ax's Early Bird Retirement plan, under the auspices of SVP HR and certified coach, Gloria Rambottom-Lemieux.

6 HR will commision accent training  in order that we all have the same midwestern accent, so we can understand one another, for heaven sake. Each employee can get up to 3 hours coaching, at 200 Euro an hour, as a private axe-pense. The company will consider reimbursement 2 years after final collection our next release software release, which is still in the pre embryonic phase.

I am meeting with Wifey to get her to subscribe to the Economist.

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