Thursday, 14 March 2013

A round table well managed with the bums from the Big Data

Why is Ms Axe in Turkmenistan, which is not in Turkey?


Today CEO Stan had a round table with a sample of nerds from the Big Data Division, which has released a product in the embryonic phase to a key customer.

HR set the stage for the success of the round table. Ms Cynthia Axe, the "Early Bird Retirement" Program Manager, was sent to Turkmenistan (which is not in Turkey) on business and thus not on site, which raised morale.

I "aligned" the level of food and goodies for the occasion, as per budgetary guidelines/discretional/roundtable/HR-Stan.

CEO Stan wore a stunning blue shirt and was at his best, smiling as if he had slept with a hanger in his mouth all night.

I prepped the participants so that the discussion would be constructive, mentioning in passing that the bonuses are to be distributed in a month. I also mentioned that corporate communications was asked to tape the session, so we can do a lessons learned, to be carried out by a cost effective , compliant vendor.

The round table was scheduled to begin at 0900 and Stan took an urgent client call, related to the deployment of our embryonic product. The call lasted to 1000. So we had half an hour left....which was well used.

  • Stan apologized for the delay in his arrival due to the call. Stan did a root cause analysis (Stan is an engineer) as to why the call came thru in the first place, "for heaven sake". Stan noted that "I would not be getting calls like this if our product were not a piece of shit".
  • Stan then asked where Cynthia Axe is. He keeps abreast of Miss Axe, as it were.
  • Stan then spoke of the need for physical fitness and discussed changes in the parking policy.
  • Stan  asked for questions. However due to the accents of our staff, Stan's main answer was "Can you repeat the question"?
I led by personal example and asked Stan how he creates work life balance so successfully. He told us that "multi-tasking" is the key. He also told us of the need to "manage his family's expectations".
I noticed quite a few people taking notes and texting in foreign languages.

Time was up-it was a wow experience.

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