Monday, 18 February 2013

Driving a global mindset


Global c'est moi!


Following the sales of our products to Albania, Southern Thailand and parts rural Ukraine,we need to become more of global company.
I may even spell my name as  Gløria Ramsbøttøm for a week.

This is what being global means to me, as senior HR manager. I wanted to share this with my readers, in line with my core values of thought leadership.


1)       The working language of our firm is English. No other language should be spoken within earshot of others except English in dining facilities and in the hallways of all of our facilities. (English with a Scotch accent is semi-compliant.)

2)       Meeting times will be aligned with the needs of global HQ, to ensure their command and control capabilities. Sleep patterns of foreign based workers need to be aligned.

3)       All people of all ranks are referred to and called by their first name. The titles of Mr, Dr, Prof, Sir are not to be used-in order to promote a global sense of egalitarianism, which is a value we all share, especially in Germany and Asia.

4)       In order to create big data, and prevent ERP-related problems, use an F or a M to indicate your gender when signing your name. Example: Ngai-lam (f) or Inam (f) or Neta (m) if your name is not "global" as per "Ramsbottom big data spec". If your name is considered global, the above is not required. Example, Fredrick or Jane. Please check in our big data base about your specific name.

6)       Keep some smartphones closed during many meetings unless you are level 3 or above.

7)       To enable a truly global atmosphere, minimize your absence during `local`` or tribal holidays. Never forget that we close for a global vacation December 23rd till Jan for 6th for 2 whole wow weeks. Chinese and Jewish new years are considered tribal.

9)       Drive a global win-win attitude, enhance our margins & cut costs, making us a wow company.

10)    Be sustainable globally by wearing our snazzy new lapel icon with the slogan "Be Global".

2 comments:

  1. OUR global values, not YOUR global values! Funny stuff, GRL!

    "...minimize your absence during 'local' or tribal holidays." Cracked me up!

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  2. Dear Mr Headbloom,
    Let's be honest. Your family name is unique but not global.
    Merci for the compliment.
    G

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