Tuesday, 19 February 2013

Building a corporate calendar

Stan wants a corporate calendar

Stan, our great leader and CEO, has asked me to prepare a corporate calendar for 2015.

This task is very complex due to the lack of "globalization" of holidays. Specifically, the  Chinese New Year is very  late and the Jewish New Year is very early. 

I love Chinese food so I leant how their calendar works from my waiter; Cynthia Axe used to have a Jewish life partner (for 2 weeks) and she explained to me how their calendar works as well.

I have also noticed that  the Jews and Muslims even fast at different times. Can't they even agree about that?

How can I run a global corporate calendar with all these fragmentation  and this divisiveness?

I have been working on this task for an hour and treading water. What a colossal waste of my time! 

Hugh White, the white bizarre heterosexual who leads Diversity refused to deal with this task because when he was hired, Stan said: "Hugh, you deal with all irregular employees, with an emphasis on their sex lives, using the switch board as our showcase".

I am going to suggest that we all adopt the American corporate calendar and do things the right way.


  1. This planet is too small for you Gloria. Why don't you joint the selected club of bigger-than-life elites, those who know what to do and how to manage this world and get, of course, compensated according to the size of their ego? Why don't you start organizing the Milky Way?

  2. That is the next step Monsieur Dufour.
    Commençons par le commencement.

    G Lemieux

  3. Even the Christians cannot all decide on one date when Christmas takes place - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Date_of_celebration

  4. I will decide for them. I am 3/4 Christian.

  5. Gloria, work on Easter while you're at it. The Orthodox Church and Rome have been arguing about it for centuries! You are absolutely correct about the lateness of Chinese New Year. This year it coincided with Super Bowl Weekend in the US. It is impossible to give attention to non-standard holidays when preparing for the big game.