Sunday 24 October 2021

Preventive Sexual Harassment Techniques, powered by a blockchain

 

Dealing with Penelope


Our diversity chief Hugh White ran into my room, his white face whiter than ever. He looked like a real guilo, a word that not all my readers may know. 

Hugh: "Our new English speaking nerd, Penelope, confronted me with an issue which I must refer to you, in line with the avoid making mistakes core value you have inculcated." What a word!

When Hugh entered my room, I had been texting my sister for the last 4 hours, so I was ready to and able to lend young Hugh a helping hand. This is in line with my core values of "lending a helping hand." However, first I said, "Hugh, what is Penelope's ask that has you so upset?"

Hugh generally rambles, hems and haws, dithers and beats around the proverbial bush when he explains things. Yet this time, he was crisp and clear: "Penelope claims that either Comrade Carl or one of his sleazy nerds  may harass her in the distant future and she wants to lodge a complaint that has future preventive validity."

I asked Hugh how long young Penelope has been working with us, and he told me that she had not yet started working. As a matter of fact, this had all happened in a recruitment conference call; Penelope is still in Gibraltar, where she is "checking her options".

Stunned, I asked Hugh what he thinks our options are. After all, I train people how to think. Hugh surprised me. "Gloria, I think that Penelope could work in finance, hedging currencies. Mister Herr Krebbs certainly won't harass her, as he is very busy after hours with Fraulein Astrid, from his accounts payable team".

I was shocked at Hugh's answer. Then I remembered that even a broken clock is right twice a day, or even three times if travelling east. I complimented Hugh, "Good thinking, White boy".

Hugh bowed his knee and kissed my ring, even though I was not wearing one. "I have learned all I know from you and your blockchain. No one can get ahead of you, Great One"-and he left my room on all fours careful not to ruffle my pride.

Guilo


 



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