Recently, our chief nerd Comrade Karl Marks, has been reading left wing rags and benchmarking product development in the pharma industry. The reasons for this are clear.
In our last management meeting, CEO Stan asked Comrade Karl "why we cannot have a billion users of our new product suite if everyone is taking a vaccine that is being tested on the fly. Why don't you develop products like that?"
I believe that CEO Stan asked that question because hemorrhoids flared up for 6 days after his 3rd shot.
In today's management meeting (in which Tasters Choice coffee and Scottish shortbread biscuits were served), Comrade Karl made the following statement looking straight into Stan's eyes whilst Stan was sending a text.
"Jefe (Italian for boss) you have a point. I have instructed our engineers to cease and desist from working on the final mile of each product. Hitherto and forthwith, we shall download and outsource the "final mile development phase" to our clients themselves, and provide our clients with a help desk via a chat bot or Whatsapp-based agent."
Our German CFO, Mr Herr Krebbs, asked for more details. Being Teutonic, Krebbs is a details man. Furthermore, Mr Herr Krebbs asked for the revenue model for the support desk. I mentioned that we cannot ask clients to pay for a product that we ourselves are developing. I have a MBA from McGill in Canada.
Comrade Karl attacked me.
"Kibinimat, that's where you are wrong Gloria. You are living in the stone age, along with your outdated HR lackeys. The world is based on shadow work, where vendors work the ass of their clients to download to them pesky issues so that the smart guys like us can go on to bigger and better things".
Then Karl, with condescending charity suggested that "initially, you can outsource the support desk to a few new mothers working from home via teletrabajo, to supplement their husbands' income. They don't need to be technical. Just nice voices. Over time, I will help you "scale up" their technical skills."
CEO Stan, whose bum was itching due to his affliction, said, "that's a good idea. What's the next item on the agenda. I don't want to get behind in our work".
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