Some people think. Some people ponder. Some dither. I do.
My staff, which includes a perky
Ms Axe (Cynthia) my downsizing diva as well as Senor Hugh White, the straight
white boy who manages(d) Diversity, are destined to become members of our Early
Bird Retirement Plan, aka EBRP. And “as such”, I have remodeled our delivery model
for HR services, leaning heavily on blockchain technology, feline instincts, common
sense and renewable energy, all of which “culminated” in our spanking new HR
portal.
In order to enter the portal,
each nerds needs to enter a mere 5 numbers: passport number, wives’ passport
numbers (all of them); last 4 numbers of their credit card; family name in
numerals with A being 1 and B being 2 etc; and systolic blood pressure.
Having entered the portal, 4
buttons appear.
Button 1: Perks for Turks.
This button is for our Turkish nerds, to be hired in 2023.
Button 2: Passport Safekeeping
and Visa Management. Closed due to the so-called Corona virus.
Button 3: Diversity University.
Includes English language training, procurement of whitening cream, and ethnic
background of our nerds and parking lot attendants.
Button 4: Early Bird
Retirement Club. Includes daily update of axed staff and retirement (non)
benefits.
On your right, Ms Axe - Gemacht
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