Back to work, thanks to the new Russian vaccine

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd and masterful product architect, has been managing our Engineering Department by Zoom. The comrade claims that 'product quality has never been been better' even though the product has only been used by one internal user, whose identity is unknown. 

Carl has even been referring to himself as Senor Teletrabajo Numero Uno. The comrade regards Spanish as the language of remote work, in the same way as he regards Danish as the language of bliss, and French as a language that used to appear in passports.

Carl often bragged that he and his nerds had mastered all the skills for managing remotely: wearing dirty sandals and unkempt shorts, mastering bladder control, speak 7 languages (none of them English), hiring and firing by whatsapp and telling family members to shut up during meals if a concall is in progress.

'Nevertheless, this having been said, and all things being considered' said the Comrade, 'this era of working from home needs to end. Now that the Russians have a proven vaccine for Corona, I suggest we inject all our nerds with the new serum, and avanti popolo.'

I immediately agreed to check this idea out with our CEO Stan, who is working from home under supervision of Wifey, who tasks Stan with helping her with various household chores. If you ask me, Stan wants to return to the office more than anyone else, except me. Stan was to escape Wifey whilst I want to escape from having too much time to think.

Upon hearing about Comrade Carl's proposal, CEO Stan asked me if Carl's 5 medications are balanced. Then Stan added, 'a Russian vaccine? Is the Comrade out of his fucking mind? Gloria, take care of this. Wellness is an HR issue!'

I texted Carl by Whatsapp after having spoken with CEO Stan; here is a copy of the conversation.

Gloria-Stan expressed enthusiasm about your proposal, seasoned with a few reservations. He thinks you are agile, global and sustainable.

Comrade Carl-Kibinimat, stop that HR speak. Which side are you on Gloria?

Gloria-Comrade, would you take the Russian vaccine? Would you suggest that your life partner take it. Come clean, Carl.

Comrade Carl- Gloria, yob tvia mat. I took 3 of these Russian injections, and my life partner is none of your business, Btw, we split yesterday when I offered her to administer an injection, gratis.

Gloria-I'll get back to you, Comrade.My sister just texted me.