May First Celebrations and the HR Lady

People could have been my middle name

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, insisted that all of our nerds come into the office for May Day. "Many peasants and kulaks died for the revolution, so fear of getting a cough is no excuse for not coming into the office to celebrate", he wrote in his email invitation to his staff. Appealing to the nerds motivation, Comrade Carl insisted that "no-shows will walk the plank, assisted by the HR lady on duty".

Comrade Carl held his May Day celebratory meeting in the Kim Buck Room, aka the Josef Stalin Hall. Carl wore a red shirt, a red pair of shorts, red running shoes and a red bandana. As his nerds entered the room, they were handed a hard copy of "El Mundo Obrero" and a picture of Comrade-in-arms, the right honourable Lazar Kaganovitch, whom Carl referred to as the Cynthia Axe of the Soviet Union.

Predecessor to Ms Axe
Comrade Kaganovitch

Comrade Carl gave a speech in which he stated that "if software had existed in the hay day on the Soviet Union, clients would take whatever releases was distributed to them. No one would beef about a glitch here and there. And nerds would have a politruk (political envoy)  that would represent their interests on the management teams, not like the treacherous ladies of HR. Perhaps Gloria would be sent to a gulag for re-education. Or CEO Stan would be hanged. Who the fuck could have known how the fall of the Soviet Union would turn us all into slaves of the landed gentry and piggish capitalism? Let's drink to the life of the working man, and woman, or what have you. Viva las Vegas".

Carl asked me if I would like to address the crowd of nerds, who were yelling "death to HR; death to the finicky client, and long live Comrade Carl Marks".

I declined, politely, remembering Dad's advice never to stick out my neck too long.

I did know who Kim Buck was. Dad used to tell me that "if that's what Buck  thinks, he should get his ass over to Russia, and starve to death".