Herd Immunity for Software Product Bugs and Craving for Salaries

Preparation H

Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, suggested today in our Core Team Management Meaning conducted by Zoom, that the corona virus presents an opportunity to develop herd immunity for clients which have purchased “products with certain childhood illnesses, like the common cold”.

CEO Stan, whose ranting wife could be heard in the background because Stan had urinated without putting up the toilet seat, asked Carl “what the fuck do you mean, Comrade Carl”?

The comrade presented us with warm data, big data and mid-sized data. “If 32% of our clients use our software without complaining, than the rest of the market will develop herd immunity and thus, many of our bugs will be re-positioned as strategic assets”. 
Comrade Carl added, “I have a Russian friend who can plan and execute  this entire process; in the past, he worked a Deception Engineer for the Russian Ministry of Railway and Bridges.”

CEO Stan texted me, asking me if Carl’s medications are balanced. I replied to the affirmative, emphasizing that Xanax has been added to “balance the Comrades’ mood swings”. Stan told me to “switch his shrink, for Christs’ sake; Carl is as nutty as a fruit cake”.

Comrade Carl continued. “Herd immunity is a strategic asset for firms with cutting edge software. That’s clear for anyone with half a brain.” Stan retorted, “Carl, treat your colleagues with respect, or I’ll deport you to Russia. Behave”.

Stan stole the term “behave” from me, but I won’t quibble.

After the meeting, Stan called me on Whatsapp. A huge jar of Preparation H was open on a table next to his chair, and he appeared uncomfortable sitting down.  “Gloria, develop a plan for herd immunity to the need for salaries. Pronto. Shake a leg”.

Stan also stole the expression “shake a leg” from me.

I shall shake a leg