Wednesday 15 April 2020

Gloria Ramsbottom Insurance Policy for the working man, and woman

Supplementary income


Whilst I have maintained my valet parking, business class travel on Cathy Pacific and my footman, it appears that my success bonus will be delayed due to the so-called corona virus. As a matter of fact, no one except our CEO Stan will pocket his (or her) success bonus.

Recently, I checked my bank book only to discover that my situation is wow. Not wow wow wow, just wow. This was pleasant yet unsettling.

In order to bridge the gap between a wow and a triple wow financial standing, I have developed an insurance policy for the working nerd and/or academic and man and/or woman. 

The policy insures you-folks as follows-

1) For fifty dollars a month, you will be insured against getting your job back after the shutdown. If you happen to get your job back, we refund your monthly payments with a $500 bonus. $ refers to American dollars.

2) For $100 a month, you will insured against getting your benefits and wellness perks back. If you happen to get your benefits back, we refund your monthly premium with a $10,000 bonus.

3) And now, my premium item. We will insure you against the chance of re-gaining a work life balance for the next decade. If you manage to get a job and work less than 14 hours a day and/or night, we will pay for a one week trip to Sweden, where you can eat, drink and be merry.
Monthly premium is $30, and of course, I am referring to American dollars.

Interested in this global, agile policy? Just contact me by leaving a message below.



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