We need to hire a marketing manager pronto in order to convince our install base and potential clientele to admire our product as it should be, with vision and messianic expectation.

Pilates uber alles

CEO Stan's wife, who all we all call Wifey, invited me out for lunch, in line with her core value of scrutiny. Wifey is a brainy damsel, and if you ask me, she does not really hold Stan in as high esteem as does his management team.

Wifey told me that she just had finished an adult education course on the "legacy of the Obama foreign policy" . 

Wifey explained to me that Obama crafted his policy towards the Middle East as it should be, as opposed to how it actually works. 

Wifey told me that except for Syria, Lebanon, Turkey, Iraq, Libya, Yemen and Saudi Arabia, his value-driven foreign policy paid off, as it were. "He even won the Nobel peace prize. He transcended reality. That was brilliant".

After our dessert of coffee and Danish with 5 scoops of vanilla ice cream, Wifey suggested that I propose some changes to our HR policies factoring in the Obama doctrine, while mitigating the risks. "Perhaps you can convince the nerds to value their salaries and management as they should be".

When I asked Wifey to put more meat on this proposal, she told me that "I shall rely on you, my darling Gloria. You are sharper than a Swiss knife and sweeter than a Hungarian cupcake". Then Wifey left the restaurant and I picked up the tab, which I expensed.

When I got back to the office, I updated Comrade Carl Marks, our chief nerd, and asked how he would go about incorporating Wifey's proposal. 

"Eureka," bellowed Carl and took a shluck from his joint. "HR is useless and can be replaced by a voice automated bot, however, we have herein a great opportunity to milk our investors for more money. We, meaning you Gloria, need to hire a marketing manager  pronto in order to convince our install base and potential clientele to admire our product as it should be, with vision and messianic expectation. Then they will accept the metaphysical essence of our product as it is".

Carl took yet another "shluck" of his joint, and gave me a kiss.  I was running late so I bolted out to my Pilates class. 

There are days when I feel that this job is a bit over my head, but in the positive sense.

Transcending reality with a shluck