Tuesday, 9 October 2018

The five stages of mastering HR


Influential people (some of them with PhD's) have approached me about how to prepare their birdies/ladies to succeed in the mission-critical role of HR business partnership.

I don't let people down, especially if they can promote me, and as such, I have acquiesced and agreed to share the five agile modules that I use to teach HR at Stanford, McGill, Harvard and Oxford. 

Module One-Madame Therese Defarge - the ultimate HR heroine: The art of downsizing from a master! As a matter of fact, Defarge was the initial first lady of HR even though she was not an American lady, nor did she own a blockchain.

Module Two-Leveraging Illegal Immigration for Diversity: How to hire illegal immigrants at sea to achieve both  social responsibility and inclusion.

Module Three-Focus, focus, focus: Juggling between transgender toilets, engagement programs, ethnic food day, and the happy hour.

Module Four-Data Mining for the HR lady: How to maintain aesthetics and personal hygiene whilst mining for data. During this module, we visit a data mine in Germany. As time and weather permit, I will bring my blockchain to the mine.

Module Five-Men in HR: This is a short module, void of content, yet provided to be fair for the soon-to-be-extinct HR male.

To register one of your birdies, or if you yourself are an interested birdy, please press 8 followed by the number of the module, then wait for an attendant.




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