Friday, 1 January 2016

Leading very differently

Happy New Year

Chief big data nerd Comrade Carl Marks invited me out  to dine the day before I flew back to Canada for  New Years Day.

The Comrade chose the lunch “venue”, in line with my core values of using French words. Comrade Carl ate a Russian dish and I sipped mineral water whilst downing my onion soup, triple cheeseburger and poutine. This is in line with my core values of freaking out because of having to spend the next few days with Mama.

After lunch Carl said to me,

“Jesus Christ, Gloria. You ate like a f-cking horse. Listen here, girl, I wanted to share with you my insights about how to manage HR.

Leading Big Data and R&D is like running the Soviet Union. My department is so large, the diversity is so huge and the stakes are so I high that I need to use brute force, and “nip off dissension” in the bud. How the hell do the Russians control their territory? Via brute force and blind loyalty, in the positive sense!

But leading HR is more like running a country like Luxembourg, Denmark, Austria or Switzerland. These countries are so small and so easy maintenance that so called democracy works best.

Gloria, stop insisting that your staff does things your way. We all know how smart you are, but you need to allow your employee to bloom, like Mao did during the Hundred Flowers Campaign.

Comrade Carl smiled, and ordered a 5th brandy.

I surprised Comrade Carl when I questioned his historic accuracy. My Dad, Pierre Elliot Ramsbottom once told me about that Hundred Flower campaign. Mao encouraged the Chinese to speak up, but once they did, he mowed them all down, which “is why the Chinese are so reserved about the opinions”, as per my late Dad.

The Comrade was shocked. “Kibinimat Gloria, I have to wake up very early in the morning to fool you. You are one hell of smart girl. And your blog has made me famous. I cannot take that away from you, girl. Happy new year, Gloria”.

And happy new years to  my readers all over the world, in England (and Scotland), Africa, Brunei, Denmark, Europe, Spain, Canada, the US, Israel and the Emirates. And the Ukraine, Poland and "Mother Russia", as it were.

счастливого Нового года