Friday, 10 July 2015

6 attributes of high performing nerds

6 attributes

Hugh White, the white straight lad who manages Diversity, sent an email to all managers in the company. He put me on cc without clearing the content of the email with me beforehand. 

This is not in line with my core HR values of "total control".
HR loves control, just like religion likes interfering in your sex life or what you eat, as it were.

In the email, Hugh wrote, "Here are the top six attributes of our high performing big data and cloud based nerds".

1-poor oral English language skills; 40% incomprehensible in con-calls
2-eat tribal or ethnic food at lunch
3-prefer hard work to work-life balance
4-worship my boss Gloria Ramsbottom, EVP HR-and gossip about her personal life
5-own 3 smartphones and text all the time to their families whilst writing code
6-have exotic passports deposited in HR for safekeeping (Ukraine, Faroe Islands, Taiwan, Israel, China, India)

CEO Stan texted me a message, "Gloria, how much do you pay Hugh White, for Christ's sake. Are we diversity compliant"? (Stan and I use Whatsapp).

As far as Hugh White' email is concerned, my Dad, Pierre Elliot used to tell my brothers Frank and Ernest when they teased me, "if you tease my poor Gloria again, I'll tan your lily white hides". I plan to have such a conversation with uppity Hugh because of his email initiative.

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