Monday, 13 April 2015

The death of organizational surveys-long live on line feedback.

Small data and bad news

CEO Stan texted me yesterday:

"Gloria what is the value of our upcoming organizational survey? Far too often, the results of these surveys purvey bad news about old fashioned
parameters like job satisfaction or trust. Stan"

I fired our survey vendor this morning, via WhatsApp, backing it up with a brief email. Then I put on my thinking cap and reinvented myself, from a survey point of view. Here is why and how I replace our organizational survey.

Organizational surveys "administered" by old fashioned, dinosaur-like OD consultants indeed make no sense. (My late Dad Pierre Elliot told me that in some cases, fear is more important than trust. He said that after he caught me misbehaving, as it were.)

The more nerdish HR becomes, the more sustainable value we will provide. Isn't that a great sentence? In the spirit of the nerdish HR business partner, our HR department will provide (under my auspices) an agile online feedback dashboard for all nerds, management and G&A. The dashboard, based on big data, will be updated every 3 seconds to provide positive news and feedback on 3 key 
mission-critical performance parameters.
1-Willingness to sacrifice our well-being in the short term to achieve work work work life balance
2-Willingness to use the slogan of the month daily, or twice daily (this month it is #engagement-via-synergy)
3-Respect for HR as a business partner.

The dashboard will illustrate only good news and big data.
Bad news will be conveyed to the dashboard of Ms. Cynthia Axe, who will take corrective action when the dashboard shows non wow results.

Ms. Axe heads our Early Bird Retirement Plan, which is semi voluntary.

The Head of Diversity, a certain Hugh White, the heterosexual lad whose skin has a white hue, will ensure that the dashboard has a Ukrainian and Russian interface for the use of our nerds from Malta, Poland, Denmark, Hungry (?), 
the FSU and Asia.

Under my auspices

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